If you've been in children's ministry for any amount of time, you know the feeling of dread that comes over you on Saturday night when you see an email or text message come through . . . then another one, and another. Sometimes it happens early on Sunday mornings. Sometimes you won't be contacted at all when a volunteer doesn't show up. This is one of the most difficult (and frustrating) parts of children's ministry. Children's ministry needs more volunteers than any other ministry in the church, and also needs the most specialized and trained volunteers, and we often don't have any choice to but to run the ministry anyway, even with key volunteers missing. Imagine if your church couldn't run a worship service without 1 volunteer for every 6 adults in the sanctuary on Sunday mornings! Leading a kidmin is hard!

If we don't build in solutions to the problem of volunteers calling off at the last minute (which I define as anything within five days of the service), it will hurt the ministry and can even lead to frustrations and burning out as a children's ministry leader. Here are some things you can do:

1. Have a back-up plan and a sub-system. You can schedule floaters/subs for every Sunday, or have them on stand-by. You could also ask a whole adult Sunday school class or small group if the group could be an "on-call group" where you could ask any of them to serve if you get in a bind. Keep in mind you would need to train and background check any subs you plan to use.  Know and communicate your plan in advance.

*Don't abuse this, but you could also ask other staff members or ministry leaders (or their spouses/family members, or some of their key volunteers) if they would be willing to step in if you get in a bind, and you can repay the favor for them if they need a last minute volunteer to step in (be sure to repay the favor if you do this). 

2. Have people find their own replacements. You could have a list of volunteers who can't commit to serving regularly, but would be willing to be on a sub list or on-call list, and give that list of phone numbers out to all volunteers, and ask them to find their own subs. You could use a group message feature like a group text chat, a GroupMe account, a facebook page, or any volunteer scheduling app, and let people ask others to switch with them or cover for them.

3. Overstaff your rooms and schedule floaters. When you have plenty of volunteers scheduled each week, even if some don't show up, you'll still have enough people to run the ministry. If everyone DOES show up (has this ever happened?!), the load will be spread and it will run even more smoothly. You may need to combine classes or combine small groups, but as long as you're within safe ratios of volunteers to kids, you can still run your ministry. 

4. Hold them accountable. When someone calls off at the last minute, they need to know you're aware and you care. The first time it happens, you can call/email/text them and let them know you missed them. They may have a great reason for calling off or not showing up, and iit may be an opportunity to show empathy and minister to them. If it happens again, talk with them in person and ask if there's anything you can do to help them or if they can still commit to serving. If it happens again after that, be gentle but firm, and ask if serving in children's ministry is something they can still commit to, or if they want to move to a new role (maybe a sub?) or take a break.

5. Check yourself and your leadership. Are you communicating with volunteers clearly? Do they know when they are scheduled to serve/are you reminding them and asking them to confirm they are coming? Do they feel needed and valued when they're serving? Have you cast the vision for the importance of what they are doing? Are they in the right role? Is it a good experience for them when they DO show up to serve?

When volunteers know how important their presence is, and feel valued and have ownership and investment in the ministry, they are not likely to bail at the last minute. Create a culture where people want to serve, feel valued, and have ownership.

Many people think working in a church would be the perfect work scenario - where everyone always gets along in perfect harmony and loves and supports each other. Unfortunately, this doesn't always happen. I've worked for some amazing bosses, and I've worked in toxic work environments. I've had bosses who encouraged, inspired and supported me. And I've had bosses who I felt didn't respect, trust, or support me. And I've learned and grown from every situation. 

One of the main things to look for in a church you're considering joining as a children's ministry leader is the simply this: a lead pastor who is a healthy leader, supportive, and empowering. It doesn't matter what the children's ministry is like, because you can handle any issue in the children's ministry if you have a solid leader behind you. And when it comes to church and staff culture: healthy starts at the top and flows down (the same is true for toxic culture).  

When you're leading a children's ministry and you don't feel supported by your boss or lead pastor, it can be discouraging and deflating. But what can you do in that situation? 

1. Work hard and with excellence. Even if you feel you’re being treated unfairly, under-appreciated, disrespected, or unsupported, the main thing you can control is yourself: how hard you work, and how well you do your job. Do it with excellence. Lead yourself well and continually seek to grow and learn as a leader. Don't waste your boss's time or bring problems or too many complaints to your boss. Be a problem solver and lead your ministry well. Share wins and stories of life change with your boss and other staff. 
2. Evaluate and understand yourself. Learn your own personality and leadership style. Take personality assessments. Understanding yourself can help you learn how you naturally operate and feel confident and appreciated. Evaluate your areas of weakness, and set goals to improve and grow.
3. Seek to understand your boss. Study them and how they learn, how they feel appreciated, and how they operate. If your staff does personality profiles or Enneagram testing, pay attention to your boss’s results and seek to understand your boss and how you can relate to him/her better. Think of things from their perspective. Chances are, your boss is facing a great amount of pressure or stress you don't even know about. They are likely carrying burdens and handling situations that weigh on them, and they may take their stress out on their staff, and may not even be aware they are acting unsupportive or unappreciative. What we may interpret as unsupportive may just be your boss's natural leadership style or personality. 
4. Ask for clarity on job and role expectations. Always, always clarify your boss's expectations for you and your role - ask for it in writing. Many of the frustrations in ministry come from unmet or unspoken expectations. Ask your boss to share things you can do to improve (and don't get defensive!).
5. Don’t talk bad about your boss. If you need to vent, vent about it to God. While you're doing it, pray for your boss. Do something nice for them. Don't put your boss down publicly or to other team members. Even if you move on, there's nothing that sounds good about a disgruntled previous employee complaining about how they were treated. 
6. Confront your boss. This is the hardest step for me personally, because I would prefer to sweep everything under the rug and run from confrontation. There are times to submit to your boss, and there are times to move on from a job. There are also times to confront your boss. It takes wisdom, prayer, and self-examination to know the difference between those three responses. If you do feel it's right to confront your boss, remember to be humble and gentle, but straightforward. Write down what you want to say ahead of time so you know how you're going to say it, but have the conversation face to face. Ask what you can do to improve yourself and gain more support and understanding. Come with solutions to any problems you present (for example: if you don't have enough time to get everything done on your To-Do List, come prepared with how you would delegate that list). 

If you've done all these things, and you still feel unsupported and feel you're not respected by your boss, it may be time to move on. No matter how awesome the children's ministry is, if you're not supported by your lead pastor or boss, it's just a matter of time before something blows up, and it's very hard to win in ministry without your boss behind you.