I had just come into my office on Monday morning after a long weekend of children's ministry and a big outreach event for families on Saturday. The event had gone well, and had taken lots of volunteers and planning, and I was exhausted, but in a good way. I sat down to my computer and opened my email, only to see an email from a volunteer come in. The title of the email was the name of the event. The email said that while the event was fun and a lot of people came, I needed to be aware the way we did prizes didn't work, the volunteers should have been organized differently, and the follow-up for new families wasn't done well. My heart immediately sank, and I felt myself getting defensive. I wanted to respond back with reasons why those weren't valid points or why we had done things the way we had, and I also wanted to say "Well if you think you can run the event better- YOU run it!" 

But the Lord stopped me (thankfully). I decided not to respond right away while I thought over the feedback. If you've been in children's ministry any time at all, you've likely gotten your share of "feedback" from well-meaning people who have all kinds of ideas for how you should be doing things. Especially as a young leader, I was NOT good at handling criticism. Whether it was about the events, the way I ran the ministry, or even criticism about a piece of work I had created, I found myself getting upset and defensive, even crying and arguing with people. 

Over the years, God has taught me a lot about how to handle criticism. Here are some things I've learned:

1. Think of criticism as feedback. When I started thinking of criticism as feedback instead of criticism, I recognized it could help me grow, rather than just discourage me. I learned not to take it personally, even if it feels personal. If the person giving the feedback is someone I trust and have a relationship with, I give them the benefit of the doubt and believe they're coming from a place of wanting to help, instead of wanting to tear me down. This is much easier said than done, but we cannot take criticism personally. We have to separate ourselves from the events and programming we lead. Just because something could have been done better, doesn't mean we are a failure. 

2. Learn from it. Even if some of the criticism is actually not valid, there is almost always something we can learn from and grow from. The parts that aren't valid-- just ignore them and delete them. Especially anonymous criticism. 

3. Embrace it and welcome it. It takes a truly secure, humble, and mature leader to ASK for criticism, welcome it, and embrace it. I'm still not good at welcoming criticism, but recognizing our weaknesses and places we can grow and improve makes us better leaders. Other people have different perspectives, and we can learn from them. Now, especially after large events, it's important to do a debriefing and evaluation or feedback survey. Give people and opportunity to respond with their feedback, and accept it all. Many times people will even be happy to have their opinions heard, even if you don't do everything they want you to do.

4. Accept that you can't please everyone. Being in children's ministry is especially challenging, because you have four groups of people to consider in everything you do: the kids, the volunteers, the parents, and your church team/leadership. Each of those groups is filled with people with different opinions and expectations. You can't make everyone happy all the time. There could be twenty different opinions about how something should be done. As someone who wants everyone to be happy all the time, this has been an especially difficult truth for me to accept. We might have people who disagree with us or don't like a decision, and that's okay. A mature leader can foster healthy relationships and respect even with those who disagree. 

The biggest thing I've learned about criticism is not to get defensive when someone gives negative feedback or criticism. Look for the truth, learn from the feedback, and move forward. Don't get stuck in it or replay it in your head. Oftentimes, we may hear ten good comments about something, but it's the one negative remark that sticks with us. This is a stronghold the enemy uses to make us doubt ourselves. Every leader receives criticism. The good leaders have just learned how to embrace it, learn from it, and move forward. 

So how did I respond to that email from the beginning? Even though my first instinct was to get upset and defensive, after taking some time to think about it and waiting before I responded, I thanked the person for the feedback, then I wrote it down and decided to make some real changes in the ministry because of the feedback. After that, I started issuing feedback surveys to all volunteers after every event, and I started welcoming feedback and constructive criticism. I started inviting people who disagree with me to come into conversations and share their opinions, because I learned it only helps me grow. If you can only hear the opinions of those who agree with you all the time, you will miss many opportunities for growth as a leader. 

The other day, I heard my three year old son playing with his toys, saying "For God so loved the world, He sent His one and only son" to his toys. My heart melted. He had about ten Scripture verses memorized before he even turned three. He loves learning and saying his verses, and I love knowing he has God's Word in his heart, before he can even read.  

My son isn't scared of much (he's almost TOO fearless!), but one thing he is scared of is shadows on the wall. I have one particular vase of flowers that makes a shadow that scares him, and the other day, I ask him if God can help him when he's scared. He said "Be strong and courageous; do not be afraid, God will be there wherever you go." That was the first time God brought a Bible verse to his heart to remind him of His truths! And he's three years old!

Teaching kids to memorize Scripture is important, because if they have God's Word in their heart, then they can remember that God loves them, God gives them strength and courage, they can trust God, and they can internalize those truths. 

A mistake I've seen when teaching Bible verses to kids is giving them verses that are too long/difficult for their age, and teaching them too many at one time without repetition. Kids are like sponges! They are better at memorizing things than even adults. But if we don't repeat and reinforce what they know, it can get lost. My strategy for teaching kids memory verses is to keep it simple, and it's a strategy I've developed over the past 10+ years. I have come up with a list of verses that are age-appropriate for elementary and preschool kids, and we teach one verse a month for preschool kids, and two a month for elementary kids. When we learn a new verse each month, we go over all the previous month's verses. We talk about what the verses mean and how they show us who God is and how we can live. 

These memory verse cards are the perfect way to teach kids memory verses every month! I laminated them and punched holes in them to make a little flip book, which my son loves to look at. You can make them into flash cards or put magnet tape on the back to make magnets for the fridge! This product is all downloadable and customizable, and includes:

• 12 memory verse cards with verses for preschoolers and elementary aged kids
• 20 ideas to help kids learn memory verses
• Instructions for creating your own memory verse flip books, cards, or magnets for kids
• JPEG files of all verses (for sharing in emails, on social media, etc.)
• PDF files of all formatted verses
• Blank Word document versions of the card designs for creating your own memory verse cards

CLICK HERE to buy this product. 

It's the middle of summer, and we're in the thick of VBS season! It's one of my favorite times of the year! For kidmin leaders, we know that means lots of fun with kids, volunteers . . . and parents! I've had the opportunity to have lots of interactions with many parents over the years in children's ministry, but as I reflect on all my VBSes in the past, one particular interaction stands out.

I got this letter in the mail (the actual "snail mail") over a 13 years ago after VBS, when I was in the beginning of my children's ministry career. I was young, inexperienced, hurt, and outraged when I read it. This was from a dad who sent his daughter to a VBS at a church in the Bible Belt in the South . . . and was then surprised when she participated in a salvation altar call, and felt it warranted a call to his attorney (perhaps a scare tactic; it never happened)?! But as I read the letter now, a few years further in my ministry journey, and as a parent myself, I read it with different eyes. 

When I read the letter now, I see the many ways I failed as a leader and failed to build trust with parents. It may have been a bit of an overreaction (or maybe not!), but parents are extra protective of the most precious things in the entire world to them: their kids. And rightfully so. I understand it.  

This post isn't about whether or not altar calls for salvation are appropriate for kids (my views on that have changed over the years too), but on the mistakes I made as a children's ministry leader in engaging with parents. 

I'm thankful to have had the opportunity to learn from these mistakes, and that's why I've kept this letter over the years. What have I learned? What mistakes did I make?

MISTAKE #1
Leave the parents out of their kids' spiritual milestones. 
Whether or not your church practices altar/salvation calls for kids, and whether or not the parents are involved in your children's ministry, you can include parents and build bridges with parents when it comes to their kids' spiritual development and faith milestones. As someone who grew up with parents who weren't believers, I know what a powerful experience it was for my family when my youth pastor as a teenager built a strong relationship with my parents, and even invited them to church for my baptism! That intentionality spoke volumes to my parents as a witness for the grace and love of Christ. For parents who ARE believers, when we try to take the role away from them or take their place in spiritual development and milestones for their kids, without including them, we rob them of the opportunity and calling God has given them as spiritual leaders in their kids' lives. 

The dad in this letter was rightfully upset when he noticed that we gave out candy in VBS and told the kids to wait and ask their parents before eating it, but then prayed with them for an eternal spiritual decision without even considering their parents—ouch! 

Even if parents are not part of your church or are not believers, you can build relationships and build trust with them. You can include them in spiritual milestones. You can give them resources and ways to support and encourage them as parents, no matter what stage of parenting they're in. 

MISTAKE #2
Communicate with kids instead of parents. 
After this letter, I made a new policy that when I send mail to kids, that is not sealed and not private. I send emails and letters to parents. When communicating directly with kids, I use a postcard). I think sending kids postcards in the mail to let them know you missed them or appreciate them can be impactful, but I also think we need to carefully consider our communication families, and include the parents whenever possible. 


MISTAKE #3
Don't give parents details and information. 
The dad in this letter didn't know our church or our leaders, didn't know what our VBS program would teach and entail, and didn't know about the salvation opportunities that would be presented. While it's not possible to communicate every single detail with every parent, and you will likely (hopefully!) have kids attend VBS who don't go to your church, we CAN give parents an easy way to get details.

You can send a brief email, text, newsletter, or take home paper each day of VBS letting parents know what their kids are learning or doing that day.  You can use a website for VBS registration that included details about your program and church. Especially if your church is targeting kids and families for VBS who aren't already a part of your church, make sure you have an easy way for them to get information about your church, your VBS program, and what to expect. I've seen churches include parents in an opening ceremony or closing ceremony for VBS. One year, I swapped a regular VBS and did a three night Family VBS where whole families attended together, and they loved it!

A simple explanation of safety policies and procedures (whether a poster, a one-on-one conversation, a brochure, or a blurb on your website or registration site) can let parents know what your church does to keep their kids safe. 

WHAT CAN WE DO BETTER?

MAKE VBS EASY AND EFFECTIVE FOR FAMILIES
As a mother of two young kids, I totally understand how difficult it can be just to get out the door and get the kids to church. The best way a church can serve parents is by not making it more complicated and difficult than it needs to be. VBS registration should be easy and uncomplicated (make sure it's easy to find on your website, and send emails with info!); parking should be easy to figure out (and not too far away from the church); check-in should be fast and smooth, and not too hard to figure out. It should be easy to know where to go and how to pick your kids up. Having extra labels for kids' items is helpful. The check-out process should also be smooth, effective, and safe. If a parent can pick up their kids without any kind of pick-up tag, or there's no way to match the pick-up tag to the kids they are picking up, parents won't feel that their kids are safe. Make sure your volunteers actually enforce the pick-up procedures. I've taken my kids to 5 different VBSes in my town and only 2 of them actually utilized a safe and secure check-out process. 

SPEAK POSITIVELY 
With many VBS parents, we only get a 30 second interaction with them, and that's during drop-off and pick-up. That's the chance for the greeters, small group leaders, and check-out volunteers to make an impression and let them know you care for their family and their child.

One time, I heard a young, well-meaning preschool volunteer say to a parents (in front of a crowded hallway with all their friends around) "Man!! Your kid was wild and bad today! He was crazy!!" I saw the look on the poor parents' faces and how their faces sank and how embarrassed they looked, and it broke my heart. Even if we have to speak with parents about behavior issues, these conversations need to happen in private, and need to be filled with grace, compassion, and love. The best things to say to a parent during pick up time are words of affirmation and love for their kid, and something specific about how awesome their kid is would be even better! Remind your leaders to look for opportunities to let parents know how awesome their kids and to look for specific positive things to share with parents. 

LOVE THEIR KIDS 
I know someone whose daughter has a wonderful Sunday school teacher who goes out of her way to show care for the kids in her class. The volunteer goes to the kids' performances and takes them a special treat during their school lunch time (with parents' permission). It means the world to the little girl, but it means even more to the parents that another adult cares so much for their daughter and is walking with them in helping her know the Lord. Another volunteer spent a day in the hospital sitting with a boy in his small group's family while the boy was sick. He prayed with the parents and was simply available for them. I know how special it is when my kids are excited to see their favorite leaders at church, and when those leaders are excited to see my kids, it impacts me. Parents love people who love their kids. 
I'm thankful for an awesome church I get to be a part of right now, and for the leaders who pour into my kids every week.

Over the years I've been in children's ministry leadership, I've had the opportunity to grow in my leadership and learn from my mistakes so I can become a better and more influential leader. I'm grateful for the grace from others to learn from mistakes.

Before I became a parent, I joked that the kids were the easy part of children's ministry; the parents were the difficult part! But now I understand that children's ministry and parents should be the strongest allies and partners, because we're both working toward the same goal: helping kids know Christ. 

This is the perfect way for churches to partner with families this Easter season and empower parents to lead their kids spiritually. It's a great way to remind kids of the true meaning of Easter so families can grow in their faith together. Each devotional includes a Scripture passage, an object, and discussion questions. It walks families through the Easter story. Objects are a tangible hands-on way for kids to learn and reinforce Bible stories. These boxes are easy to assemble and the devotions are fun and easy for families to do!

I encourage you to pass these out to families in your church between 1-8 weeks from Easter. This is a downloadable product; it does not include the objects needed for the devotionals, but it does include Amazon links to purchase them. 

Get this kit for only $10 here. 

I have recently become a parent of TWO babies (one who is almost two years old, and one who is currently 6 weeks old), and I have an all new appreciation for connecting with parents in children's ministry. I have gotten the chance to visit different churches with my newborn baby with me, and have gotten to see the awesome things churches are doing to serve and connect with parents, even though they didn't know I was walking through their doors with experience in children's ministry. Here are a few things I have noticed:

One church had special parking for new and expectant moms: this was awesome!! Walking in with my newborn and lugging the diaper bag, etc, it was awesome to have a close spot!

Several of the churches had really nice and comfortable nursing rooms, with TVs to stream the service, and diaper changing stations. This was great. 

Guest Follow-up: One of the churches sent a whole packet in the mail welcoming me and telling me all about their church, and I received a phone call from a pastor welcoming me to the church. Another church sent an email with links to info about their children's ministry. Another gave me a cool CD to listen to in the car with great children's worship songs. Another send a handwritten card from the pastor, with a $5 Starbucks gift card (can I say that was my favorite??!). 

I was a little nervous walking into the church service with a newborn baby in my carrier, but she was too young to go into the nursery, and the churches I visited were all really friendly and nice about having me with a baby in the service, and the baby loved listening to the music and looking at the lights!

The children's ministry entrance was easy to find, if I needed it. Once the baby is old enough to go into the nursery, I liked going to visit churches where the children's ministry was clearly marked and easy to get to from the sanctuary. 

It is so important in children's ministry to think of all the things parents will be thinking of, and how we can connect with them and help them feel safe and comfortable leaving their kids in children's ministry. I have loved getting to visit different churches and see them from an outsider's perspective and see how welcoming they are. 

There's a saying that it's easier to retain than to recruit volunteers, and it has a lot of truth to it. Part of children's ministry is ALWAYS going to include recruiting volunteers, and recruiting needs to be constant. But a big part of leading children's ministry is retaining your current volunteers. If you are constantly seeing volunteers come in and others go out the back door, you will have to work MUCH harder. But if you can figure out how to keep the majority of your volunteers, AND constantly recruit new ones, it won't be long before you are fully staffed in some areas, and maybe even have a waiting list for volunteers!

Leading, developing and caring for volunteers is one of my passions. They have to know that we don't just want to use them as a warm body doing a job; we want more FOR them than from them. 

Invest in Your Volunteers
As a leader, make sure you know and care about your volunteers personally. People can tell when you just want to use them and get them to do something for you, versus when you want to build relationships with them, serve them, and help them grow. Provide opportunities for them to grow as leaders in ALL areas of their lives. Make sure they are serving in their sweet spots and using their gifts, and that you are identifying people with more potential; then provide a leadership pipeline with with opportunities for them to move up and grow as leaders. Give them ownership instead of just tasks. Give them decision making roles and allow them to take real leadership. People will step up to the role you give them, and if you give them small jobs and small roles, they won't feel necessary, and you will end up losing your volunteers. 

Care structure: Coaches
One of the awesome things we do at 12Stone is create a coaching structure to make sure all the volunteers are cared for and invested in. When you have 10 volunteers, you can care for all of them yourself.... but if you want more volunteers, you need to expand your leadership structure. We have over 100 volunteers on each of our department teams, and in order to care for all of them, we need volunteers caring for and leading other volunteers. We have a position called volunteer coach, and this person has 10 people in their small group. They lead weekly huddles, reach out to their volunteers outside of church, encourage them, influence them, pray for them and pour into them, plan fun events for them outside of church to build community. I meet with my coaches monthly as a group and individually and pour into them, and they lead their small group. That is one way to help make sure none of the volunteers slip through the cracks, with no one caring for them. They build community in their small groups, and if someone goes through a hard life situation or family emergency, the coach and small group is there to reach out and care for the people on their team. This is huge- I would not skip this in children's ministry. Helping build intentional coaching structure is vital for building healthy volunteer teams. 
​
Communication/Organization and Ongoing Training
An important aspect of keeping current volunteers is providing clear communication and organized leadership and structure in your ministry. Nothing is more frustrating for volunteers than a leader who doesn't communicate, who isn't on top of things, and isn't prepared and doesn't listen to them. Be a good listener, take their feedback seriously. Make sure you have everything ready for them on Sundays and the policies and procedures and job descriptions are clear. Provide ongoing training for them regularly and opportunities for them to give feedback. We do annual large group "training" sessions that are similar to children's ministry conferences, as well as weekly on site training through Huddles before service, and ongoing opportunities for leadership development. 

Cast Vision
It's easy for people to serve every week and lose sight of the big picture of why we do what we do- what our mission is, and what a win is in our ministry. When that happens, you lose volunteers. Your job as a leader is to continually keep the vision and the mission in front of your leaders. You cannot over communicate the vision and the value of children's ministry. You should be sharing stories of life change and sharing your goal and what a "win" is on a regular basis. Encourage and show appreciation to your volunteers. Make sure you celebrate with them when you see them working hard and going after big wins. 
​

If you do those 4 things well, you will see great retention in your volunteer teams. We ask all of our volunteers to serve every Sunday, and not just for a certain amount of time- it's until they step down. But we have a surprising number of volunteers who serve regularly for long periods of time- years even, because they are sold out to the ministry and they are being invested in, and they are making a HUGE difference for the kingdom of God. We don't do it perfectly every time, but when you make the effort to do these 4 things with excellence, you will see a big dividend in people invested in your ministry for the long term. 

For the last 8 months, I have focused my ministry on preschool (ages 2-5), and I now have a new appreciation for not only this age group, but for the huge potential of life change through preschool ministry. Many people start coming to church (or coming BACK to church) when they have young kids. If their kids are safe and having a great time and learning and growing, people will want to stay at a church. If their kids dislike church, young parents won't be likely to stay. 

It's easy to think of preschool ministry as simply "babysitting," but I see a bigger picture: I see a vision of little children worshipping freely and getting their first glimpses of what it means to follow Jesus. I see kids learning the foundational biblical truths that they will build on and plant seeds in their hearts for the rest of their lives. I see a place where kids can wiggle and run and laugh and feel loved and accepted, all while being pointed to Christ in every aspect. 

Preschool ministry is SO much more than just babysitting. It is one of the most important ministries in a church, and one that often gets pushed to the back burner. If churches can grasp the importance of reaching young kids and their parents, they will experience growth and church health, and they will see young parents flock to their church. Preschool ministry builds a foundation of faith and trust in the church in young kids, a foundation that is built stronger in elementary ministry, and stronger in student ministry. If we can be intentional to reach kids and impact them through key milestones and moments in their lives, and partner with parents to build a strong faith from the very beginning, we can make a bigger impact and grow disciples that stick with their faith. 

A few key points to remember in a great preschool ministry:

SAFETY: For most of my 12 years in children's ministry so far, I have focused mostly on Elementary Ministry. While elementary ministry must have safety policies and procedures in place, it is EVEN MORE VITAL to have simple, yet comprehensive, and enforced safety policies in preschool ministry. There are even more risks, with things like diaper changes and potty accidents, injuries, sippy cups and germs, snacks and allergies, crying children, cleaning toys, check-in and check-out, and moving rooms if you move from small group to large group. There are more things to think about in preschool ministry when it comes to safety, and it is absolutely essential to have leaders who know and enforce all the safety policies and procedures. It took me a few months to completely understand and wrap my mind around the differences in preschool vs. elementary policies, and now I am even more convinced that this is important in a great preschool ministry. 

SHORT ATTENTION SPANS AND FUN: Preschoolers have even SHORTER attention spans than elementary aged kids. This can he a big challenge when it comes to engaging them in activities and curriculum, and because of this, many people in preschool ministry almost "give up" and just let kids have free play for most of the worship hour. But I look at it as an opportunity for us as leaders to sharpen our skills and look for fun and creative ways to keep kids engaged from the time they enter the rooms until they go home. We can play games, use puppets, do fun crafts, have snacks, sing songs, and do all kinds of fun activities to help connect kids to God. Everything we do can help point them to the Lord and His love. I love working with my volunteers to find fun ways to engage kids, even as young as two years old, and help them have fun while learning. We do a large group worship services for our preschoolers, as well as small group time in classrooms. You can be as silly and funny as you want with preschoolers. They have endless energy, and they love fun!

WORSHIP: One thing preschoolers (almost all of them) love is worship! They love singing, dancing, wiggling, and worshipping! You can sing songs all through the day, about everything! We sing songs about prayer, about praising God- about anything. Church should be a place where preschoolers love to come and have fun. 

CONSISTENT LEADERS: One of the best ways to help preschoolers feel loved and safe at church is to have consistent leaders that they see week after week- people who know their names and greet them by name and notice when they aren't there. We ask our preschool leaders to serve every week. And it is amazing to see how kids connect with "their" teacher, and run to their room each week to see their special person at church who knows them and loves them. 

Those are 4 things I believe are important in making a preschool ministry great. What do you think are some other things that make preschool ministries great?

After having our baby boy, I took a little blogging hiatus while I figured out this whole working-mom thing. And while I still don't completely have it figured out, I am getting the hang of it now, and ready to jump back into blogging. If there's one thing I've learned about new moms, especially first time moms, it's that we are crazy. We first time moms have built in protective instincts that make us crazy and want to protect our babies at all costs. I'm probably the most laid back, relaxed first time mom, and yet I still have those crazy times where all I can think about is making sure my baby is happy and healthy and safe. 

We need the church to come alongside us and help us, and we need to be able to attend a worship service to get ourselves filled. 

Many new parents start coming to church once they have kids, even if they haven't been to church in a while, because it suddenly hits you when you have kids that this is the time to shape your kids' foundation and get your life right with the Lord, because you need Him when you're a parent! So how can churches reach new parents, and minister to them? Here are a few things I think the church can do:

1. Make sure your nursery is meticulously clean, safe, and staffed with loving volunteers. We new mamas are crazy about germs. Our nurseries are meticulously cleaned and filled with fun, age appropriate toys for babies. There are safety policies and procedures that I can count on to protect my baby. I know that the church can get ahold of me if my baby is upset or needs me. And I know that my baby will be loved and well cared for. Those are all things new mamas care about. I LOVE the feeling of walking into the nursery and hearing the nursery volunteers excited to see my baby and cuddle him and play with him. He loves going in the nursery. New mamas can go to the worship service and enjoy an hour and a half to themselves while their babies are enjoying being in the nursery. 

2. A Meaningful Baby Dedication. Our Baby D is an amazing experience, and I cannot say enough how special it is to be a part of a church that gives parents the opportunity to be a part of this experience. We participated in Baby D last October, and loved being able to commit to the Lord that we would raise our baby to know the Lord and would live out the Gospel as parents. This is the first step for churches partnering with parents as spiritual leaders. 

3. Give new moms a place of community. Our church focuses a lot on community in small groups. I'm a part of a couples small group with my husband and I lead a new moms small group. I love getting together with other young moms to pray, encourage each other, and grow in our faith together. New mamas especially need community with other people in the same stage of life (or further down the road). 

4. Don't make church hard for us. Being a new mom is hard. One thing I love about our church is that the nursery has thought of everything. You forget to label your diaper bag? They have tags. You forgot a snack? They serve Cheerios. You need to nurse your baby? They have pagers to get ahold of you, and a nursing moms room where you can stream the service. It's hard enough being a new mom. Getting your baby to church shouldn't be stressful. The check-in and check-out process are streamlined and easy. 

When babies can learn that people in the nursery love them and care for them, you lay the foundation for them that church is a good and loving place, and that God is a good and loving Father. That lays the foundation in their lives to go to the preschool ministry, where they learn to worship and learn the Gospel, and that lays a foundation for them to love church in the elementary ministry and the youth ministry. It all starts with babies having a safe and loving experience in the nursery. I love that my baby loves coming to church, and I love having a church where my baby can grow up knowing he is loved. 

Valentine's Day is on a Sunday this year (2016), and in children's ministry, we want to make sure our volunteers feel the love! Here's a cute and easy idea I've used to show appreciation to children's ministry volunteers for Valentine's Day. I made these cute labels and attached them to bags filled with heart shaped candy. You can print the label on sticky labels and make it even easier, and just stick it onto treat bags.
​You can click the link below to download the picture to use in your children's ministry.

Click HERE to download the graphic I used. 

In my 10+ years of full time children's ministry, I've had the privilege of working at 4 different churches, ranging from 70 people, to 700 people, to now 17,000+ people. And they are all wonderful churches, and I have loved my experience at every one of them. I don't think megachurches are better than any other sized churches. Since I have been at a megachurch for about 4 months now, I have observed some things that stand out. I'm blessed to be at 12Stone, and thankful that God provided this opportunity for me to serve, lead and grow as a part of the 12Stone team.

12Stone Church started about 25 years ago, and a few years ago, was one of the fastest growing churches in the nation, if not THE fastest growing church. Last year, 12Stone launched 5 new campuses IN ONE DAY, bringing the total to 9 campuses. So not only is it a mega-church, but is a multi-site church with a strong focus on outreach, church-planting, and meeting and loving people as they are and giving people the opportunity to meet God and experience life change. The more I get to learn about the church, the more I love it and thank God for such a powerful Kingdom-building church.

I've spent the last four months learning, asking questions and observing and soaking in the culture and values of my church, and here are some of the things I've noticed. 

Here are a few thoughts/observations about working at a megachurch:

• Everyone has a specific, specialized role. In a smaller (regular-sized) church, as the children's pastor, I would be in charge of the nursery, the preschool, the children's ministry admin work, the hospitality/first impressions/guest relations, the preteen ministry, the kids music ministry, the special event ministry, the Sunday morning elementary ministry, the production/tech/worship, the special events/VBS/outreach events, the kids portion of the website and promo, and I would maybe also sometimes be the janitor and need to set up or clean up my space, as well as anything else in the church that needed to be done. In a megachurch, there's a staff person for every one of those roles. Instead of having to run all of those aspects of the children's ministry, each leader can focus specifically on a certain area of ministry, and specialize in that area. My main focus at 12Stone is the elementary ministry at  our Central Campus- so I get to pour my heart into the elementary volunteers and small group leaders and pour myself into making the Sunday ministry experience amazing for elementary kids. And I absolutely love it. It's challenging, but the Lord is stretching me and teaching me as I allow Him to guide me. 
• Relationships must be Intentional. In a smaller church, especially when you're in a ministry position, it's easy for everyone in the church to know who you are, and it's easier to make friendships and relationships in the church. This also actually makes recruiting volunteers easier, because you can easily know everyone (or almost everyone) in the entire church. Even in a church of 700 to 1000, you can know a lot of the people who attend regularly. You can find friends with whom you have a lot in common, and get to know people because you see them a lot and have chances to talk to the same people each week. In a church of 20,000, with 9 different campuses, this is not the case! Even if I know someone who attends the church, I could easily go to church every Sunday for a year, and maybe not run into them! It's harder to get to know people, and in order to make friendships and build relationships, you have to be intentional. Plus, with 4 Sunday services, people go to different services all the time, and it's harder to get to know and see and talk to the same people every week. It's not impossible- I've made some great friends- but it takes more intentionality! This is one reason small groups are so huge in megachurches. Small groups make a megachurch seem like a small, local church and make building connections easier. 
• The myth: with so many people, you always have PLENTY of volunteers. You might think that just because you have 17,000+ people at your church, that you ALWAYS have more than enough volunteers lined up out the door ready to serve for anything needed. This is not the case. The faster the church grows, and the faster the church plants other campuses, the more volunteers you constantly need, and recruiting volunteers is a constant and intentional process. If anything, I've found it's actually easier at smaller churches, because you can easily know everyone in the church. That being said, there are a ton of amazing leaders and strong teams, and I am thankful for each of them, and it is cool to see pray for God to send the right people for the right roles, and see Him empower people to serve using their gifts. 
• Emphasis on the big picture and the church culture. This church has a big vision for reaching the lost (One Matters), and keeps us focused on the big picture in everything we do. We don't do a ton of programming and little events like at smaller churches, and we can't make big programming changes or one day, decide to start a midweek kids ministry just because.  Your vision and your heart must become sold out to the bigger picture and vision for the church as a whole, and not just your ministry. In a smaller church, there's a little more freedom to do your own thing or change up your own ministry as you want, but in a bigger church, especially a multi-site church, there has to be consistency and loyalty and submission to the vision and big picture of the church as a whole, and you have to buy-in and submit to the church's culture in everything you do in your ministry. Which leads into my next observation...
• Focus on thinking large-scale ministry and thinking multi-site. Like my last point, decisions can't just be made for your ministry on your own, and apart from the rest of the church, and changes may sometimes happen that you aren't a part of or don't have a say in, and you don't always have freedom to make every change you want to make, but it takes a commitment to trusting the leadership and the vision God is giving the church as a whole, and not just focusing on your piece of the whole. When making elementary ministry decisions or curriculum choices, I have to now think of the 8 other campuses and how they will implement each aspect, and I also have to make sure the ministry is aligned with the church as a whole and the direction we are going together. One other thing is thinking more large-scale in terms of who the target is for the church, and how we relate to guests or non-Christians. In a smaller church, your target may be more narrow, and at any given Sunday, even with several visitor families, you can easily know the majority of the people at your service, and where they are spiritually, and you can target your ministry for where they are. But thinking larger scale and bigger target, with a lot more non-Christians and visitors means your ministry has to be shaped to reach those people. You can't assume everyone at church is spiritually mature, and in fact, we assume at 12Stone that people AREN'T spiritually resolved, and we aim to be a place where people who may have messy situations or aren't close with God at all can come as they are and meet Him. It's a different way of doing ministry, and I love hearing all the stories of life change each week! 
• As a staff member, focus on teams, embracing the culture, and leadership development. In the 4 months I've been here, I've been to staff meetings to help me learn the culture and values and vision of the church, I've had meetings with a culture coach and read books written by the church leadership, and have attended a training just on learning the history, values, vision and culture of the church. There is a huge value in staff learning to ask questions and learn and grow in the church's culture, you couldn't work here and not have buy-in and not know what the church values and what it exists for. The vision is laser-focused, and it has to be. A church this size can't try to do and be everything for every ministry need. They wouldn't grow and wouldn't last long if it did! They also put value on helping the staff grow in leadership development through coaching, mentoring and growing strong leaders and strong teams. There is a very healthy staff team atmosphere, and I believe the heart for growing leaders and strong teams comes from the top down. I have deep respect for every leader above me, and trust their heart, and they trust and invest in their staff. It's a very healthy staff atmosphere, and I'm thankful to be on this great team, doing big things for the Kingdom!

These are just a few of my current thoughts and observations. I'm absolutely loving my time here, and thankful for 12Stone and the children's ministry. *These are not necessarily the views of 12Stone Church. 

Lynne Howard