Valentine's Day is on a Sunday this year (2016), and in children's ministry, we want to make sure our volunteers feel the love! Here's a cute and easy idea I've used to show appreciation to children's ministry volunteers for Valentine's Day. I made these cute labels and attached them to bags filled with heart shaped candy. You can print the label on sticky labels and make it even easier, and just stick it onto treat bags.
​You can click the link below to download the picture to use in your children's ministry.

Click HERE to download the graphic I used. 

In my 10+ years of full time children's ministry, I've had the privilege of working at 4 different churches, ranging from 70 people, to 700 people, to now 17,000+ people. And they are all wonderful churches, and I have loved my experience at every one of them. I don't think megachurches are better than any other sized churches. Since I have been at a megachurch for about 4 months now, I have observed some things that stand out. I'm blessed to be at 12Stone, and thankful that God provided this opportunity for me to serve, lead and grow as a part of the 12Stone team.

12Stone Church started about 25 years ago, and a few years ago, was one of the fastest growing churches in the nation, if not THE fastest growing church. Last year, 12Stone launched 5 new campuses IN ONE DAY, bringing the total to 9 campuses. So not only is it a mega-church, but is a multi-site church with a strong focus on outreach, church-planting, and meeting and loving people as they are and giving people the opportunity to meet God and experience life change. The more I get to learn about the church, the more I love it and thank God for such a powerful Kingdom-building church.

I've spent the last four months learning, asking questions and observing and soaking in the culture and values of my church, and here are some of the things I've noticed. 

Here are a few thoughts/observations about working at a megachurch:

• Everyone has a specific, specialized role. In a smaller (regular-sized) church, as the children's pastor, I would be in charge of the nursery, the preschool, the children's ministry admin work, the hospitality/first impressions/guest relations, the preteen ministry, the kids music ministry, the special event ministry, the Sunday morning elementary ministry, the production/tech/worship, the special events/VBS/outreach events, the kids portion of the website and promo, and I would maybe also sometimes be the janitor and need to set up or clean up my space, as well as anything else in the church that needed to be done. In a megachurch, there's a staff person for every one of those roles. Instead of having to run all of those aspects of the children's ministry, each leader can focus specifically on a certain area of ministry, and specialize in that area. My main focus at 12Stone is the elementary ministry at  our Central Campus- so I get to pour my heart into the elementary volunteers and small group leaders and pour myself into making the Sunday ministry experience amazing for elementary kids. And I absolutely love it. It's challenging, but the Lord is stretching me and teaching me as I allow Him to guide me. 
• Relationships must be Intentional. In a smaller church, especially when you're in a ministry position, it's easy for everyone in the church to know who you are, and it's easier to make friendships and relationships in the church. This also actually makes recruiting volunteers easier, because you can easily know everyone (or almost everyone) in the entire church. Even in a church of 700 to 1000, you can know a lot of the people who attend regularly. You can find friends with whom you have a lot in common, and get to know people because you see them a lot and have chances to talk to the same people each week. In a church of 20,000, with 9 different campuses, this is not the case! Even if I know someone who attends the church, I could easily go to church every Sunday for a year, and maybe not run into them! It's harder to get to know people, and in order to make friendships and build relationships, you have to be intentional. Plus, with 4 Sunday services, people go to different services all the time, and it's harder to get to know and see and talk to the same people every week. It's not impossible- I've made some great friends- but it takes more intentionality! This is one reason small groups are so huge in megachurches. Small groups make a megachurch seem like a small, local church and make building connections easier. 
• The myth: with so many people, you always have PLENTY of volunteers. You might think that just because you have 17,000+ people at your church, that you ALWAYS have more than enough volunteers lined up out the door ready to serve for anything needed. This is not the case. The faster the church grows, and the faster the church plants other campuses, the more volunteers you constantly need, and recruiting volunteers is a constant and intentional process. If anything, I've found it's actually easier at smaller churches, because you can easily know everyone in the church. That being said, there are a ton of amazing leaders and strong teams, and I am thankful for each of them, and it is cool to see pray for God to send the right people for the right roles, and see Him empower people to serve using their gifts. 
• Emphasis on the big picture and the church culture. This church has a big vision for reaching the lost (One Matters), and keeps us focused on the big picture in everything we do. We don't do a ton of programming and little events like at smaller churches, and we can't make big programming changes or one day, decide to start a midweek kids ministry just because.  Your vision and your heart must become sold out to the bigger picture and vision for the church as a whole, and not just your ministry. In a smaller church, there's a little more freedom to do your own thing or change up your own ministry as you want, but in a bigger church, especially a multi-site church, there has to be consistency and loyalty and submission to the vision and big picture of the church as a whole, and you have to buy-in and submit to the church's culture in everything you do in your ministry. Which leads into my next observation...
• Focus on thinking large-scale ministry and thinking multi-site. Like my last point, decisions can't just be made for your ministry on your own, and apart from the rest of the church, and changes may sometimes happen that you aren't a part of or don't have a say in, and you don't always have freedom to make every change you want to make, but it takes a commitment to trusting the leadership and the vision God is giving the church as a whole, and not just focusing on your piece of the whole. When making elementary ministry decisions or curriculum choices, I have to now think of the 8 other campuses and how they will implement each aspect, and I also have to make sure the ministry is aligned with the church as a whole and the direction we are going together. One other thing is thinking more large-scale in terms of who the target is for the church, and how we relate to guests or non-Christians. In a smaller church, your target may be more narrow, and at any given Sunday, even with several visitor families, you can easily know the majority of the people at your service, and where they are spiritually, and you can target your ministry for where they are. But thinking larger scale and bigger target, with a lot more non-Christians and visitors means your ministry has to be shaped to reach those people. You can't assume everyone at church is spiritually mature, and in fact, we assume at 12Stone that people AREN'T spiritually resolved, and we aim to be a place where people who may have messy situations or aren't close with God at all can come as they are and meet Him. It's a different way of doing ministry, and I love hearing all the stories of life change each week! 
• As a staff member, focus on teams, embracing the culture, and leadership development. In the 4 months I've been here, I've been to staff meetings to help me learn the culture and values and vision of the church, I've had meetings with a culture coach and read books written by the church leadership, and have attended a training just on learning the history, values, vision and culture of the church. There is a huge value in staff learning to ask questions and learn and grow in the church's culture, you couldn't work here and not have buy-in and not know what the church values and what it exists for. The vision is laser-focused, and it has to be. A church this size can't try to do and be everything for every ministry need. They wouldn't grow and wouldn't last long if it did! They also put value on helping the staff grow in leadership development through coaching, mentoring and growing strong leaders and strong teams. There is a very healthy staff team atmosphere, and I believe the heart for growing leaders and strong teams comes from the top down. I have deep respect for every leader above me, and trust their heart, and they trust and invest in their staff. It's a very healthy staff atmosphere, and I'm thankful to be on this great team, doing big things for the Kingdom!

These are just a few of my current thoughts and observations. I'm absolutely loving my time here, and thankful for 12Stone and the children's ministry. *These are not necessarily the views of 12Stone Church. 

Lynne Howard

I know I haven't posted in a while, and that's because it's been a big season of changes in my life the last few months! Over the summer, my husband and I bought a house, then I turned 30, and then I got a new job and we found out we are expecting our first baby! We are due in April 2016, and are very excited. I am no longer the children's pastor at Eastgate Church - I am now the Elementary Ministry Director at 12Stone Church in Lawrenceville, GA, and I am thrilled to be a part of this amazing church! It is a multi-site mega church that is making a huge difference in the community, and has a great children's ministry. I'm honored to be a part of such a great team! During this time of transition in my life, I've seen that following God is always the best way to live, and there is no where I would rather be than in His will, following His leading for my life. I'm excited about the future and seeing what else God has in store! 
​

A few weeks ago, a parent from my church shared with me that their family got one of the Advent To-Go devotional boxes we gave out at Christmas-time. The boxes contained simple items that helped illustrate biblical truths, and helped facilitate discussions and devotional time for families. The parents told me that their family enjoyed the devotional time and the concept so much, that they have continued doing family devotions using simple household objects every week since Christmas, and it has re-shaped the way their family talks about their faith and does devotions together. To me- that's a huge win! My heart's passion is to see families growing in the Lord together, to see parents leading their kids, to see worship and spiritual growth happening both inside the church and outside the church!

So many times, we get it wrong when we assume that church is the number one place for kids to grow spiritually; when we encourage kids to make major faith decisions at church, and get the majority of their Bible training and discipleship at church under children's ministry leaders. That's not the way God intended it to happen. He created families to be the number one place for discipleship and spiritual growth for kids. He tasked parents with the job of raising spiritual champions. It's the church's job to help support and empower parents, and supplement what kids are already learning. 

The class I'm taking right now for my Masters in Ministry is all about family ministry, and it has been challenging and inspiring in so many good ways, to help me stretch and shape my views of children's ministry. I consider it a big win in children's ministry when parents and kids are worshipping, serving, learning and growing together outside the church walls, as well as in the church. Many parents are already doing a great job, but many also don't feel equipped to lead their kids spiritually, or don't feel they are doing an adequate job. It is my goal to be an encouragement and cheerleader for parents, constantly looking for ways to help them and inspire them as spiritual leaders. 

I am praying for God to unleash an anointing on the parents of this generation, and to give them a vision for spiritual leadership as they shape the hearts of their kids. I pray for parents to become empowered with the Holy Spirit to become leaders and ministers to their kids. When parents start to feel guilty or inadequate, I pray that God would give them confidence and boldness as they nurture the faith of their children. And I pray that these things would become the win, and the aim, in children's ministry

A few years ago, someone I looked up to told me they felt I had reached my lid as a leader; that I had capped out and wouldn't grow in leadership anymore. While it hurt at the time, I know now that it is not true. I don't know much, but I do know that I want to continue to grow every day, every year; and if there comes a day when I stop growing, then I'll stop doing ministry. 

Every year, at the beginning of the year, I seek the Lord about a specific focus or theme that He put on my heart for the year. This year, I keep feeling impress upon me that this will be a year of growth. I don't know if it's a bad sign that I'm posting my "New Year's" post in February... but that's the way the year is starting. It's been good and busy and filled with stretching and growing experiences for me personally and professionally. 

I am pushing myself in different ways: one big step I'm taking is by starting my Masters in Ministry through Wesley Seminary at Indiana Wesleyan University (which also happens to be where I got my undergrad degree in Children's Ministry, and by the way, I'm a HUGE FAN of IWU and Wesley Seminary). It's an online program, and I'm only in week 2, but I am already excited about what I'm going to learn and how I will grow as a ministry leader. It was kind of daunting to think about going back to school while working full time, and wondering how it would fit into my busy schedule, but I am also growing in the area of time management and self-discipline, and it's all fitting together. 

I am looking for simple ways to grow and learn throughout the day- things like listening to leadership and ministry podcasts (I listen while I work out); reading books (right now, I'm just reading seminary books, but I just re-read Amplified Leadership by Dan Reiland and absolutely loved it). 

I'm growing in my faith through seeking accountability and mentorship with godly people whom I respect, and I'm also involved in networking with other local ministry leaders, and involved in a small group with amazing friends. 

I'm going through ministry experiences I've never been through before, like going through a senior pastor transition, and navigating the process of working with our staff and board volunteers as we search for a new pastor and still carry out God's vision and mission for our church. 

I'm growing as a wife and woman, and although I fall short daily, I am striving to become the woman and wife God wants me to be, and I am blessed with a supportive, loving, selfless and grace-filled husband who cheers me on and lifts me up. 

I'm being stretched with my time, as I juggle full time ministry, and writing and selling my own curriculum, as well as doing some freelance curriculum writing, and now Masters classes. But to be honest, I've never felt more fulfilled or excited about life than I have now. I wake up each morning filled with gratitude and excitement for the opportunities God has given me and the honor of getting to serve Him each day. And it truly is my honor to get to spend my life serving Him and His children. I know I have a lot to learn, and a lot of room for growth! I learn a lot of things the hard way, and I continually have to seek the Lord for wisdom, but that's how I know I'm right where He wants me, because I can't do it on my own. 

I have no idea what's going to happen in 2015, but I want to look back at the end of the year and know that I grew more in love with the Lord, grew in wisdom, grew closer to Him and more like Him, grew in the humility and servanthood, in knowledge and in leadership (and maybe my family will grow this year.... who knows?! ....This isn't a hint, though!). 

I've never grown more in my life than in times of stepping out of (or being pushed out of) my comfort zone, and uncomfortable as it is to be stretched, those times are mile markers in my life. I don't think that I've reached my cap as a leader or a person, and I'm not hoping to any time soon!

-Lynne

Earlier this month, we did a church-wide fast. I wanted to get kids involved and find a good way to teach them about fasting. So I did some research. I spent hours looking online, and not finding much AT ALL for teaching kids about fasting. The only thing I found was a fasting calendar.... then God put this idea on my heart as a fun and engaging way to teach kids about fasting. 

This was a fantastic way for kids to learn in a hands-on way that they can understand. I came up with a lesson, based on the object lesson of an empty cup- which represents us as we empty ourselves from the distractions that keep us from focusing on God, and the way God fills us up. He fills us with His love, His strength and grace, and His Spirit. 

The lesson was fun for the kids, but my favorite part was getting to give the kids their own Fasting Cups to take home. We don't just want kids to focus on what they are GIVING UP, but on what God can do to FILL them up. We didn't encourage kids to fast from meals, because their growing bodies need nutrients. Kids would get two cups: one that says "GIVE UP" and one that says "FILL UP." Each cup had slips of paper in them. They would do a drawing a few times a week; one drawing would tell them what they would give up for one day (TV, cell phone, sweets/junk food, etc.) and one cup would be something they could do to allow God to fill them up (Read a certain Scripture, memorize a verse, write a prayer, etc.). 

It was really cool to see the kids involved in the church-wide fast, and see their dedication. I had parents tell me that even when THEY started to "cheat" on their fast, their kids would remind them about fasting and the importance of it! The kids inspired me with their hearts for God. I love hearing stories of kids living out their faith at home. The fasting cups were just one simple tool to help kids connect with God at home and live out their faith. 

To purchase this resource, CLICK HERE to access the resource in my store. 


Lynne Howard

Visiting a new church for the first time is a big deal. A family makes the decision to go to a place where they won't know anyone, but people will know each other; they won't know where to go, but everyone else will, and they will drop their kids off with people they don't know. For many people, the entire experience can be uncomfortable, and if churches aren't intentional about creating good first impressions and focusing on hospitality, especially in the area of children's ministry, we could be missing out on many opportunities to connect with guests and help them feel welcomed and comfortable enough to come back! 

Last summer, I took a short sabbatical in my transition time in between churches, and enjoyed visiting other churches... but it was also an eye-opening experience for me! Even coming to my current church as a new person taught me a lot about what our guests notice when they first come, and a lot of it is things that we often overlook because we're so used to them! One thing I do remember that stood out is the friendliness of the people. No matter who you are, it's intimidating visiting a new church. There are things we can do to help ensure our guests have a good experience and feel loved. 

As a children's pastor, I take first impressions and hospitality very seriously, and always reinforce this value with my team. We want to always be thinking of ways to improve in the area of First Impressions, and it's good to have people to give good feedback on all the details, from the guest experience in the parking lot, to the drop-off/pick-up process. Here are a few things we do to help guests have a good first impression....

Guest Check-in
It's a good idea to have a special area at the kids' check-in desk for guests to check-in, and the check-in process needs to be as easy and fast as possible. Parents don't want to fill out pages and pages of forms, but they DO want you to ask for the important information that you need to know to keep their kids safe. I'm attaching a copy of our one page Registration Forms that parents fill out on their first visit. 
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After parents fill out the form, our check-in leader collects their information to print out a simple Guest sticker from our computer (it includes the kid's name, parents' names, parents contact number, kid's grade/age, and any allergies or needs). They print out two stickers- one for the kid, and one for the parent to turn in when they pick up their kid. We tell them that the next time they come, we will have entered their information into our computer system, so they won't have to fill out a new form (if they are a true ONE TIME guest, we won't add them into our system). *We also let parents know that we have the ability to send them a text message via our computer if they are needed in case of an emergency, which makes parents feel more comfortable knowing you can get ahold of them if needed. 

It's important to make sure the check-in process is streamlined and fairly quick for all parents- not just guests. If new people look over and see chaos in the regular check-in line, and frustrated parents who have had to wait too long, it makes everything feel chaotic. Make sure the check-in time is easy for all families. 

Hosts
Aside from our regular check-in volunteers, we have hosts each Sunday, who are specifically there to greet and welcome new guests. They are trained to engage the family in conversation, answer their questions, walk them to any room need to go to, and help them with the check-in and drop-off process. It really makes families feel great when our hosts remember them from their last visit and seem genuinely glad to see them. 

Identify your volunteers 
It's important for new families to know who is on our children's ministry team, and identify who they can go to for questions. One way we do this is by having all our volunteers wear lanyards. Sometimes, we've had our volunteers wear name tag stickers, and some of them wear T-shirts with our logo. However you do it, this is one important detail not to overlook. 

Prize boxes
On their first day visiting, we give all kids a fun little prize box that's filled with small and simple, but cool little toys and something small with our logo on it. Even though these prize boxes are simple, every time a kid gets one, and looks inside it, their eyes lit up, because they got something that is just for THEM. 

Follow up
Try to connect with a first-time-guest within 72 hours of their first visit, either through email or postcard, and let them know you're glad they came. I usually send a simple email while I'm adding the guests into the check-in system on Monday mornings. 

Engage kids immediately
Train your volunteers in all age groups to engage all kids quickly when they come into the classroom, especially the new kids. Teachers should be looking for the new kids, and pulling them into a conversation or opening activity- kids should never walk into a room full of chaos, or just be left to wander or sit alone. Often, it's good to introduce them to other kids their age, and then engage the kids in an activity together. 
We plan arrival activities to help engage kids as soon as they come. Our arrival activities change every week. Sometimes it's a craft, or a large group game, or a team challenge or other activity that is designed to draw kids in and introduce them to the Bible lesson as soon as they enter the classroom - and I don't like for the arrival activities to be (or even look) chaotic, because no one likes walking into a room that seems to be in chaos, especially new kids!

Information for Parents
Make it easy for parents to get their questions answered. Make sure signage is clear and visible, and make sure parents can get simple information about your ministry: who's the leader, where kids go in each age group, what your safety policies are, etc. We give parents a paper with detailed, but streamlined information about our children's ministry. We're working right now on making our signage even better, and helping our guests know where to get the complimentary coffee we offer everyone on Sundays. 
*Here is a copy of our "Thanks for Coming" information paper we give parents 

Trained Volunteers
Someone told me recently that they took their kids to visit a church, and they had to go to three different check-in desks, and fill out registration forms three different times for one kid, because none of their volunteers knew what was going on, or what to tell them! It seemed disorganized and difficult for the parents. They were sent to several different rooms. All of a church's volunteers should be knowledgeable and ready to help new guests. Also, make sure your front line people (your greeters, front desk people, etc.) are genuinely friendly and have the gift of hospitality! It's a tendency for everyone (even me!) to just stand in doorways and talk to people we know, but we need to remind ourselves to be outward-focused on Sunday mornings, and always looking to connect with others, especially people we don't know! Constantly remind your team of the value of hospitality and friendliness. 

*Another note: first time guests don't know who's who, or where everything is (even things like the bathroom or the coffee bar), and they don't know what your church does on Wednesday nights or what the youth group is called. Make sure to have easy information at their fingertips, or a place they can go to get answers (we have a Welcome Desk that is staffed and has plenty of information about the church); but if you think through the details ahead of time, people won't have as many questions. 

Safety and Security Policies
It's hard for parents to leave their kids with people they don't know, and we can let them know we're thinking about that. We let parents know that we take their kids' safety very seriously, and let them know about our safety policies. We explain our check-in and check-out procedures and give them a written overview of the safety policies on our Parent Information Page. Parents need to know that we care about their kids' safety. We have caring volunteers in every room who are trained and screened, and we make sure our classrooms have safe ratios of kids, and aren't alone with a kid in a room, we have our sickness and health policies posted, and parents know we have their cell phone number in case we need to get ahold of them. 

Think about Parking
We have designated visitor parking spots up front, but even if all the spots are filled, it's a good idea to have people available to help with parking direction if needed. If guests can't park, or don't know where to go to get into the service, they won't want to come back. 

Second Time Guests 
Many people will try out a church one time, but studies have shown that there is great success in assimilating new families into a church bodies if they return even a second time! If a guest family comes back a second time, it's a win! We want to make sure they have a good experience EVERY time they come! Try to remember their names when they come back. Make sure kids get connected with other kids, and invite the family to a small group, Wednesday night program, family church event, or something else to get connected. 

We don't always get this all executed perfectly, and I always appreciate hearing feedback and getting ideas to make or guest services even better, but I am thankful to be at a caring and friendly church that truly values all people, and have a children's ministry team that understands and values this as well! 

Families may visit your church on a Sunday and have an "ok" experience, but what if you go the extra mile in every one of these areas? What would it look like for your whole team to go above and beyond to help people feel loved, valued, and welcomed at your church? In the parking lot, at the check-in desk, inside the classrooms, and even in the sanctuary? Many people who come to visit are craving a place to belong, a place for their kids to have fun and want to return, and know their kids are learning Bible truths WHILE having fun and making friends, and a place to know their kids' safety is a top priority. If you can help a family find those things, you will see more and more second time guests, and third time guests....

Do you have any other ideas for helping welcome new families?



Lynne

*Update: This has become one of my most popular blog posts, and my most requested resource, which is awesome! I'm reposting, so more people can see.  I'm always happy to share. If you're looking for a great resource this Christmas (or any time) to help families grow in their faith together, this has been a fun and easy way to do that. 

One of my goals as a children's pastor is to empower parents to be kids' primary spiritual leaders. God designed families as His number one plan for discipleship for kids. There are many parents who are doing a great job with this, but many parents also don't feel equipped to lead their kids spiritually. The church should be ONE avenue for kids to grow as disciples, but not the ONLY place. Leading kids spiritually doesn't have to be complicated- parents can weave faith conversations into every day life at any time!

I am always looking for ways to help bring tools and ideas to parents for teaching and leading their kids. One thing I did last Christmas season was send home Advent Devotional To Go boxes with every family at our church. I had never seen or heard of anything like that before, so I wasn't sure how they would go, but they were a hit! They were gone very quickly, and people even wanted some for friends and neighbors!

The goal of the boxes is to get families talking together in fun and easy ways, that engage kids at any age. Even my 3 year old nephew loved the one I sent him in the mail.

Each box contained 10 Devotional Cards and 10 small, simple objects:

• Play Dough
  
• Small Candle
  
• Small Bubbles
  
• Pipe Cleaner
  
• Clear Marble
  
• Jingle Bell
  
• Stone/rock
  
• Christmas Cookie Cutter
  
• Birthday Candle
• Small Star shape with sticky back

 
Each object corresponds with a devotional that the family goes through together. The devotional cards are labeled and in order, and the kids can take out the object while the family reads the instructions to see how it goes along with that day's devotional and Scripture. The idea was to get kids involved with hands-on devotionals using simple objects, and get families talking about Scriptures and praying together. It's not complicated, but it can be a powerful way for families to connect and grow together!

*They weren't super expensive to make. The boxes were from Oriental Trading, and I made the stickers and cards, and got the items from the Dollar Store or in bulk online. Planning ahead helps, because you can be collecting items for months before you make the boxes. This year, I'm thinking about making "Frozen" themed Advent To-Go boxes.

This is just one way I hope to empower, equip and partner with parents in the journey of raising kids who are strong and devoted disciples.

TO PURCHASE this resource, so you can make your own, CLICK HERE.


Lynne Howard

I turned 29 last month, and as I get closer to ending this wonderful decade of being a 20-something, I've been reflecting on the last 9 years, and all the changes I've undergone, and how God has grown me. 

I am preparing to share in a couple of children's ministry classes this week at my Alma Mater, Indiana Wesleyan University. I LOVED my time there, and wouldn't trade my 4 years there for anything. The time I spent there was crucial to making me into the children's pastor I am today, but nothing could have prepared me for the great learning and growth I've experienced firsthand in ministry. As I pondered what I would share with the class of children's ministry students, a few things came to mind. 

I've been working as a children's pastor for 9 years now, and have served at 4 churches total (3 of them in a paid position), and after 9 years working in children's ministry, the one thing I know is that I don't know much! I have made many mistakes, have learned things the hard way, and still have a LOT to learn and a lot of areas of growth. 

 I am called to children's ministry, and I am committed to serving God for the rest of my life. It's not easy, and if I'm honest, there are times I've wanted to quit. But you don't stay in ministry for the long haul because it's easy; you stay because you commit to not giving up, even when it is hard. I'm in it for the long haul. 

Here are a few things I would share with students who are preparing for children's ministry...

9. Always keep learning. 
I will admit that there were times in ministry I felt like I knew everything, and times I felt like I knew NOTHING. It's important to be a constant learner. I want to always look for people to learn from and help myself grow as a leader. I've joined Jim Wideman's mentoring group, Infuse, which has been, by far, my biggest source of growth and learning (other than my college experience). I've had leadership mentors and children's ministry mentors. I love to read books and attend conferences, and learn via social networking (twitter, blogs, etc) and networking with others in my field. I have been a part of local children's ministry networking groups, and since moving to Atlanta, have enjoyed visiting several churches, always with paper and pen in hand, and a list of questions. I want to never stop growing and learning and developing. I am hungry to learn, and I want to stay that way, no matter how long I'm in ministry.

8. Get Good at People Skills and Problem Solving. 
I originally got into children's ministry because I LOVED working with kids...and was surprised to learn that the number one thing you deal with in children's ministry is ADULTS, not kids. If you're doing it right, most of your leadership will revolve around leading parents, volunteers, staff, etc. If your people skills are weak, this will be a huge challenge. I have had to make myself grow in people skills and problem solving, and am STILL growing and learn every day. I've learned a lot the hard way through my own mistakes, and I've learned a lot from the mentorship of GOOD leaders. Work to develop yourself as a leader, and learn to get good at solving problems and conflict management. There are no perfect people, so you will always have plenty of opportunities to practice good conflict management. Get good at taking criticism. Get good at having hard conversations and confrontations. Get good at speaking truth and love, and learn to be a problem SOLVER instead of wallowing in problems. 

7. Get good at volunteers.
I learned pretty quickly that if I wanted to do successful children's ministry, I couldn't do it by myself. Research shows that leading volunteers is the most difficult group of people to lead. I would say volunteers are the most rewarding group to lead if you do it well. I can honestly tell you right now that I have a truly AMAZING group of faithful, passionate, dedicated volunteers. They inspire me. They go above and beyond to give their all to the children's ministry, and we have more and more people join our team every week. Many of my volunteers have become my best friends. In some areas, I've had waiting lists for volunteers before. Because when you can lead volunteers WELL, they will line up to serve and join the team. Learn to recruit, lead, train, and develop volunteers well. Learn to appreciate them, respect their time, value them, and pour into them. If you can't get good in this area, your children's ministry will only grow as far as you can do by yourself, but when you raise up and release leaders, God can multiply the ministry and affect more lives than you ever imagined!

6. Be disciplined about your work, but also about your rest.
Work hard. When you're on the clock, get good at managing your time, and being productive (get rid of time wasters). There will always be the temptation to take shortcuts and be lazy, but don't give in. Do your job with excellence, even in the tiny details. Work ahead, instead of waiting until the last minute. Learn to become organized, even if it doesn't come naturally to you. Be disciplined about your work. But also be disciplined about your rest. There will be seasons of working overtime and giving up days off, but you need to make sure you take time to refresh and refuel, and no one else is going to make sure you do this. It's up to you. You won't be able to keep going for the long haul if you don't learn to balance your time and make time for your family and friends and rest. Also- many pastors don't have close friendships. It's important to have encouraging, refreshing, authentic friendships and support systems. In college, I was completely surrounded by wonderful godly friends, fun, community and accountability that close friendships bring. But then I moved to another state that was 600 miles away from all my family and friends, where I didn't know anyone. The first year or two were lonely...and it would have been hard to continue living and doing ministry at that lonely place. But thank the LORD I found great friends and God brought me an amazing, supportive husband, and since moving to my new church, I have been overwhelmingly blessed with godly, supportive, loving friends. Be disciplined enough to make sure you get community, fellowship, and accountability in your off time. 

5. Your relationship with your lead pastor (or direct report) is make or break. 
When you're looking for churches, don't try to look for the perfect church; it doesn't exist. There will be conflicts or issues of some type wherever you go, but the most important thing is this: you can deal with any issue, problem, or conflict that arises, if your lead pastor has your back, and you have his/hers. If you have mutual respect and a healthy relationship, you can face anything that happens. You need to work for a pastor you can submit to, respect, and be authentic and real with. You should have your pastor's back no matter what, and they should have yours. 
Leading into my next thing I've learned...

4. There will be problems or issues wherever you go; don't play into church politics.
It's true. One thing I've learned from visiting other churches and talking to other children's pastors, even children's pastors of mega churches with thriving children's ministries... they all face difficulties in some form. I recently met with an intelligent, highly qualified and passionate leader of an awesome ministry, and she told me stories of severe behavior issues with kids, parents yelling at her and going to her pastor to complain about her behind her back, church members accusing her of things she didn't do, and even more. But that was only part of the conversation. The rest was about how much she LOVED her job and her church and the kids and people. You WILL face trials. You won't please everyone all the time. I have many stories I could share, but the important thing is that I've learned from every difficulty and conflict, and I've learned not to play into gossip and church politics. No matter how great and healthy your church is, there will be people involved, and people aren't perfect. Don't play games and don't gossip. 

3. Don't neglect your own relationship with God.
Fruitful ministry only happens out of the overflow of an intimate relationship with God. The best thing you can give your ministry is your relationship with God, because people don't need more of YOU- they need more of HIM. John 15:4 says a branch cannot produce fruit if severed from the vine; you are the branch and Jesus is the true vine. Apart from Him, you can do nothing. This one can be hard for children's ministry leaders, because we can DO ministry and keep ourselves so busy, that we may not even notice right away that we're not connected the Lord... until we start to burn out and grow weary, and our well runs dry and our fruit withers. When you're connected to God, He produces ministry and life change and fruit. It's not something you can make or fake or do on your own. But often times, we can get so busy, that our own relationship with God can easily become the last thing on our minds. Make yourself put Him first; do whatever you have to do to keep this number one. You can't do it without Him.

2. Remember the purpose of WHY you do what you do ...to bring children to Jesus. 
I'll be honest, it can be easy to get caught up in the details of events and recruiting, and remodeling, and planning, and curriculum, and object lessons, and all the day-to-day details of leading a ministry. It can be easy to turn on auto-pilot and forget the true purpose and calling of leading kids to relationship with the Lord. But you MUST make yourself remember, and you must constantly cast that vision to your team. There is no more valuable investment than investing in the life of a child, and helping bring them to Jesus. Children are important to God, and helping them experience Him is our number one goal. It's not just making sure the check-in system works and the motions to the songs are right, and the snacks are stocked in the preschool room, and all the prizes are ready... those things are important, and I am ALL ABOUT excellence in every tiny detail, but the number one most important detail is bringing kids to a relationship with Him! He changes lives! Don't let yourself forget this. 

1. 1 Cor. 16:13 "Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong."
You're in a battle. The church doesn't need wimps; it needs warriors. You are on the front lines, and Satan is ready to steal, kill and destroy. You are fighting, and you need God's armor and strength. There will be times when you will need courage- seek God. There will be times you will need wisdom - seek God. There will be times you will be weak, and need His strength- seek God. There will be times you will need faith- seek God. He will equip you to carry out the calling HE has given you. He will give you wisdom and strength. You're in a battle, but God has already given you victory. This is one I have to remind myself of daily, and I'm STILL LEARNING to depend fully on Him day by day.



I know I"m still a baby in this world of leadership, and I hope I can say I've continued learning and growing and serving faithfully every day of my life. 9 years down, and, Lord willing, many more to go. I'm thankful for my wonderful church, pastors, volunteers, kids and families, and husband, and I'm thankful that I get to wake up every day and serve in children's ministry. Even when it's challenging, there's nothing I would rather do.


-Lynne