You don't have to be in children's ministry long to realize that you couldn't do it without your volunteers! They are the backbone and the frontlines of the ministry! The ones who give and serve selflessly each week to make your ministry happen. We may think that showing appreciation to volunteers needs to be big and elaborate (such as fancy appreciation events or expensive gifts) but showing appreciation to volunteers is really more about how you honor and value them in the small ways, week in and week out. Knowing and greeting them by name, thanking them personally, sending a hand-written card or a quick text during the week, remembering their birthday, baking a homemade treat (or store-bought!) for them, making sure they feel valued and respected as leaders on your team. There are so many ways to appreciate and show gratitude for your volunteers. If you haven't done it in a while, November is a great time to show gratitude through food! I love cooking and baking for volunteers, and I have created these cute printable tags that can go on a homemade pie (OR a store-bought pie ... I found these cute little pies for less than a dollar at Walmart!).
You can download the printable here and attach to a pie for your volunteers. When you give them the pie, don't forget to verbally thank each of your volunteers personally each Sunday that they serve, and look for something specific to tell them that you appreciate about them. Being an appreciative, thankful, and encouraging leader is one of the best ways to build your team. If people don't feel valued and appreciated, they will have a hard time mustering the desire and commitment to continue to serve, and your team will likely suffer. You have the opportunity to build up the people on your team and inspire them, to believe in them breathe hope into them with your encouragement. Your affirmation and appreciation can cause them to serve with more passion, energy, and commitment. If you're the kind of leader that encourages and builds people up, people will naturally want to move toward you and be drawn to serve on your team. They'll want to keep doing their best and believe more for themselves. It doesn't mean empty flattery or nonchalant "thanks" but a heartfelt attitude of gratefulness and belief in the people who are serving with you. Small tokens of appreciation and thoughtful gestures, combined with heartfelt words of appreciation will lead to a strong and passionate team of committed volunteers! If your team isn't growing and passionate, evaluate how you can become a better encourager and show more value and appreciation. Volunteers don't often burn out from serving too often, but they often burn out and quit from not feeling valued or appreciated.
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Earlier this year, a friend sent me an experiment involving talking to rice. The experiment claimed that talking in a mean way caused some rice to turn brown and rotten much quicker than talking nicely to other rice. I was skeptical but intrigued, and I always love doing experiments and object lessons with my kids. We gave it a try, and the results were incredible!
In April, I cooked one batch of regular white rice, let it cool, and then split it up equally into 3 jars that were exactly the same. We labeled the jars mean, nice, and ignore. Then I set them down in a spot in our living room that isn't exposed to natural light or extreme temperatures. Then we waited. For six weeks, my kids and I talked to the jars every day (sometimes multiple times a day!). We didn't open the jars or shake them or do anything else except talk to them. To the nice jar, we took it to another room and said nice things to it ("You're so pretty!" "You're the best rice ever!" "You are wonderful!" "I love you!" "You're so nice!"). To the mean jar, we took it to another room and said mean things to it. Shockingly, my sweet and kind kids actually LOVED saying mean things to the mean jar. They thought it was hilarious! They would say things like "You are the worst rice ever!" "You stink." "You're mean." "I hate you." "You are dumb." I took the jars to another room to talk to them so the other jars wouldn't "overhear" what we were saying. To the ignore jar, I didn't want the fact that we walked around with the other two to affect the results, so we would pick up the "ignore" jar and take it to another room and then take it back. After only 3 weeks, there was quite a difference between the nice jar and the mean jar. The ignore jar looked pretty similar to the nice jar at this point. Then after 3 more weeks, we finished the experiment and noted that there was a huge difference between the nice and mean jars, and even the ignore jar looked more gray than the nice jar. The only thing we did differently was speak different words. Even the tone/cadence of our voices were the same (I told the kids to say the mean and nice things with an equal tone). The amount of time we spoke to them was the same. The room we took them to when speaking was the same. Everything was the same except the words. We learned a powerful lesson from the rice—one that I hope my kids will never forget. Words have a profound impact on us, and this experiment proves it. If mean words spoken to rice can cause it to rot, what can mean words spoken to a human do to our souls and our hearts? Words can tear people down and bring destruction or build them up and bring life. Proverbs 12:18 says, "The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." and Proverbs 18:21 says, "The tongue has the power of life and death ..." We can speak words of life, truth, wisdom, and encouragement to others. It can be easy to be careless with ours words and say things we don't mean, but those words have a greater impact than we even know. The words can take root in someone's heart and grow either bitterness and hurt or life and healing in their heart. Our words can point others to the Lord and His truth. As we looked at the rotten rice, I asked my kids to think of times when others have said things to them that hurt. It's easy in our own lives to think of the negative, critical, hurtful things we've heard too, because those are the things that stick. And those things can shape us. They can root inside our hearts and impact the way we view the world and ourselves. I asked my kids to think of times when they've said things they didn't mean, whether it was gossip, talking bad about someone, telling a lie, or saying something mean to someone. We talked about how those words might have impacted that person or our relationships or trust, and how those words might cause things to rot, like the rotten rice. We prayed right then and asked God to help us speak His words and His truth. James 3:2; 9–11 says, "We all stumbled in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check. ... With the tongue we praise the Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be." Our tongues are a small part of our body that can have a huge impact on other people. We have an opportunity to allow God to help us tame our tongues and speak His messages and love to others! Human beings are made in the image of God and are much more valuable than rice! Ephesians 4:29 says, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Even the jar that was ignored turned gray. It's not enough just to not say mean words. We can use our words to build others up, to declare God's truths, to spread His love, and to worship and praise our God! Not only do our words impact others, but the words we speak also impact our own hearts. Things we say out loud are what take root and grow in our hearts and our lives. It's important to note that it's not just spoken words that can be impactful: Our typed words can impact others (and ourselves!) too. It can be easy to think that we can hide behind a screen or phone and say whatever we want, including things that are hurtful or judgmental, but those words can affect others in big ways. I encourage you to do this experiment yourself in your home and let it be a powerful lesson about the power and impact of our words. Download this free resource: Bible verse valentines that you can print and give to kids or volunteers this Valentine's season to help point them to the true love of God. You can print and cut them apart and give as-is or attach to candies or treats.
After a children's ministry service that was filled with emotion and the feeling of the presence of God, I had just finished a large group prayer time in which two kids gave their lives to Jesus, and I dutifully filled out the "Response Card" and met the parents of the kids after the service to tell them, "Your child accepted Jesus today!" One parent looked confused and said, "... Thanks ... My son has already done that. But good to know he did it again today." The other parent looked a mixture of joyful and disappointed. "That is wonderful ... I only wish I could have experienced this with her and prayed with her. It's something we've been talking about." After that day, I started reevaluating how I did "altar calls" in children's ministry. When I say "altar calls," I am referring to a large-group salvation invitation during a children's ministry service. I don't believe this is always the best way to lead kids in their faith journey. Before you cancel me and ban me from the children's ministry community, let me explain.
Here's what I'm NOT saying:
As a children's pastor, I used to help facilitate emotion-filled experiences in which kids may have felt pressured (whether by their peers, their leaders, or the environment) to raise their hands or come forward, whether or not they understood what they were doing. I did not grow up in the church, and once attended a church camp with a friend when I was about 8-9 years old. I had no knowledge of the Bible or the gospel, but when they asked who wanted to raise their hand and get saved, I thought, "Sure! Why not?! Sounds great to me!" So I raised my hand. I remember that I had no clue what was happening, then they told my parents, "She's been saved!" I never went to church or read a Bible or did anything to do with God or Jesus after that. There was no follow-up. There was no real heart change, discipleship, or understanding at all. I just didn't want to be the only one not raising my hand. Years later, as a teenager under the mentorship and discipleship of a youth pastor and his wife, I spent months diving into the Bible and asking questions and feeling the nudge of the Holy Spirit as I began to understand the gospel. I gave my life to Jesus at the age of 16, and I was in a church, surrounded by community and spiritual mentors, accountability, and discipleship opportunities. While I don't think it harms kids to make a decision for Christ without fully understanding it or receiving follow-up and discipleship, it doesn't nurture their faith journey and provide opportunities for true faith formation. Here's why I stopped doing large-group altar calls ...
So if not in large-group altar calls, how do we present opportunities for kids to know Jesus as their Savior and grow in their faith? We can make the Bible the center of everything we teach, and show kids how it's all connected to God's big story. As we teach Bible stories each week, we can show kids how the stories connect to God's big story and show them their place in God's big story: that they are created by God, loved by God, known by God, loved by Jesus, and that they can be forgiven and saved when they trust Him as their Savior. When that happens, they are redeemed and made new through the Holy Spirit and are adopted into the family of God. We can communicate those truths to kids over and over, and give them continued opportunities to respond to God within that context. We can remind them that their faith is journey of knowing God and becoming more and more like Jesus. . We can provide opportunities for them to worship, pray, experience God's presence, and grow in their faith. We can equip and partner with parents to lead and disciple their kids. We can always be ready to talk with kids, answer their questions, lead them, and point them to the only One who can truly change them: Jesus. So in those times I presented a large group salvation call in children's ministry and joyfully reported to my pastor that "13 kids got saved today!" Do I think it was ineffective, or not real? I don't know. I don't know how many of those kids understood and received follow-up and discipleship. I don't know if their parents are leading and nurturing their faith at home. God could have planted a seed in their hearts in that time that would get watered later down the road in their lives. Do I think it's bad or harmful for those who DO present large-group altar calls? Not necessarily. But I think with some reevaluation, intentionality, and purpose, God can use children's ministry to help grow faith in kids that is powerful and truly life-changing! As I walked into a church for the first time with my young kids recently, within the first two minutes of walking into the church, we were approached by four older men (who I assume were greeters) who persistently got in their personal space and touched them (or tried to touch them), even when my kids made it clear they didn't want to be touched. One put his hands all over their faces and another told my four year old daughter she's pretty and keep asking for a hug, even though she backed away and didn't want to give a hug. Another made my kids shake his hands and (playfully) wouldn’t let go. I firmly (and also politely) stepped in front of my kids and said, “No thanks” and kept my kids close to me. At another church we visited, one of the outside greeters got in my daughter's face and continually told her she's pretty and asked lots of questions while within half and inch from her face, and touched her head, even though my daughter backed away. The woman was so persistent that she followed us as we walked to the parking lot, while still in my daughter's face.
I assume all these greeters were pure and innocent with good intentions of simply being friendly, but as a parent, it's my job to protect my kids, and not all people are pure. It's important for kids to know they are the boss of their bodies, and they don't have to let someone get too close or touch if they don't want them to. Kids need to have healthy boundaries, and it's just as important for adults to respect their boundaries. Don't neglect to train your greeters (and all volunteers) about respecting kids' personal space and boundaries. These are a few reasons this is important:
So how can you train your volunteers to respect kids' personal space and boundaries? These five things are important to keep in mind: 1. Teach volunteers and greeters that all physical contact with kids should be initiated by kids. I know as a children's ministry leader, we like kids (hopefully!). It can be easy to overlook physical boundaries with kids we know and love, but it's important for all physical contact between kids and grownups to be initiated by the kids. If a volunteer does offer a physical greeting, the adult should ask permission first and respect the child's answer. No response should be treated as a "No." 2. Create safe-touch policies and train all volunteers in appropriate vs. inappropriate touch. If you don't already have a church policy about appropriate and inappropriate touch, create one and put it in writing. Teach it to your volunteers. If you don't have one, a good place to start is: APPROPRIATE
Do not assume your volunteers know all of these are inappropriate. Some of the actions listed are often innocent forms of showing affection that many of us wouldn't think twice about, but it's important to have clear and firm policies that apply to all volunteers and all kids, even kids you know well. 3. Be aware of how volunteers are interacting with kids, and be willing to have tough conversations when needed. Watch and listen in your classrooms, hallways, lobbies, entryways, and even your parking lot. If a volunteer is violating any of the policies or making kids feel uncomfortable in any way, be willing to pull the volunteer aside for a conversation. In the conversation, let the person know you assume the best and trust the purity of the person's intentions and heart. Show appreciation for the person's willingness to serve and friendliness. But don't beat around the bush or be vague about what you're saying. Be firm and clear. Tell the volunteer exactly what he or she is doing that isn't right, and give them the important information about why it's not okay. If the volunteer isn't willing to make changes, be prepared to remove the person as a volunteer or put the person in another role that doesn't involve interaction with kids. 4. Keep in mind that sometimes, it may happen with people who are not children's ministry volunteers, or even official church volunteers at all. Be aware that sometimes the extra-friendly people in your church may not be those who are on your children's ministry volunteer team and may not have heard your policies. Keep your eyes and ears out for people who may be greeters at the main church area, the parking lot, or even someone who isn't a volunteer in any official way. It may be a well-intentioned person who simply enjoys kids and isn't aware of personal boundaries Also, we aware that people from older generations or other cultures may be more likely to show more physical affection or have different physical boundaries. 5. The safety and needs of the kids is the number one priority. It can be tempting to ignore or write off someone who you know and trust the person's well-meaning intentions (especially older people), but the safety and comfort of parents and kids is more important than wanting to spare someone's feelings. Will it hurt a person's feelings if you approach them and with correcting or admonition? Maybe. But with love and grace, the volunteer has the opportunity to grow and learn, which is something we can all hope for! All of these things are a valuable way you can protect kids and volunteers in your church. Showing affection is a natural part of working with kids, and sometimes this can even go the other way, with kids who may not be aware of personal space and boundaries! I've had times where I've had to peel kids off of me when they've gotten very attached. Make sure your volunteers know it's okay to be firm and have boundaries with kids who are very physically affectionate. Showing appropriate and wanted affection and genuine hospitality as we welcome kids into our ministries is a very important way to love the kids in our church, but it must be done with sensitivity and intentionality to help ensure all kids are secure and comfortable. Feel free to share this post with your volunteers and church leaders and take this issue seriously. It could make the difference for kids and families staying at your church and hearing the gospel. One of the biggest and easiest mistakes to make when recruiting children's ministry volunteers is making their job too "easy" and small. Children's ministry leaders who are desperate for volunteers, apologize for asking people to volunteer, then tell them, "You don't have to do much; just show up and stand there for a little bit until parents come," or "Just watch these kids once every six weeks and let them play."
By downplaying the role and making it too easy and too low-commitment, you make it unimportant and unappealing. People don't want to be a part of something small and easy; they want to be a part of something life-changing and something that matters. And as a children's ministry leader, you don't want just a warm body to stand in a room; you want committed, passionate people who are serving using their gifts with excellence. When we make their jobs easy and small, people will feel insignificant and will burn out, and will be much more likely to call off or quit the team. Instead, when you recruit volunteers, ask big. Invite them to a life-changing mission and empower them to lead and serve using their gifts. Raise the bar on the expectations of the ministry and give them important and significant jobs and value in the ministry. People want to be a part of a team that is making a difference. When you recruit volunteers, make sure they're serving in a role they're passionate about and can use their gifts. When you do this, your children's ministry teams will transform and you'll have a team of leaders who are committed, passionate, excited to be there and serve with excellence. This doesn't mean you need to make it too time-consuming or to expect too much from your team, but I've found that when I empower volunteers and have good leadership and communication, good curriculum and resources available, and a structure for them to serve, they're excited to serve, and they go above and beyond. Isn't that what every children's ministry leader dreams about? It was a few years ago, when I was working at a large church, on a busy Sunday morning, with many new families visiting the church every Sunday. Part of my job was helping the new families find the right classroom, and that includes asking their age (since our preschool rooms were age-based). I asked an innocent question and made an innocent (and common) comment.
I asked the mom, "How old is she?" The mother said her daughter (who was very tall!) was four, and I commented cheerfully, "Oh, well you're a big girl! Here's your classroom!" and the mother LOST IT. She flipped out in the middle of the hallway, in front of her daughter and other families. She started yelling about how "...my daughter is perfect! She's not too tall! She's wonderful JUST how God made her! She hears everywhere we go that she's too big for her age, and she's JUST RIGHT! Don't you say she's a big girl!" I stood there, dumbfounded, unsure of what to even say, except for mumbling something like "I'm so sorry... you're right, she's perfect...." It may have crossed my mind during that scenario that the mother overreacted, and maybe she did. But it's not my place to judge, because I don't know what that mother and daughter had been through in their lives. I don't know what their weekend or morning had been like before church, or what kind of bullying or struggles the daughter may have experienced. I do know as a parent that I am fiercely protective over my kids, even to the point of responding irrationally when I feel they might be threatened. I've been the overreacting parent before. Parents protect their kids. So if a parent does overreact, we give them grace. As children's ministry leaders, it's our job to keep our cool even when others don't. When parents or kids react in loud ways, it's our job to remain collected, and respond with grace and kindness. I learned that it's not ever our place as children's ministry leaders to comment on a child's appearance. Even innocent observations or comments about a child's appearance aren't necessary or helpful, and may bring up feelings, memories or experiences with negative connotations, or may be misconstrued. Some things NOT to say to OR about a child:
It can be tempting, especially when you're not sure what else to say, to comment on a child's appearance. And many times, we are all guilty of saying these things. Most of the time, they are taken well, but we must remember: you don't always know what a family or child has been through or what a child is feeling, or what they've been told. And we know that while man looks at the outward appearance, the Lord looks at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7). It's important to focus on a child's heart. Encourage their effort, their character, their hearts, their faith; instead of their appearance. Things TO Ask or Say to a Child:
Speak God's truth and His Word over the kids in your ministry any chance you get. You might be the only one to tell them God has great plans for them. Your encouragement might breathe life into their soul and inspire them. When you have an opportunity to speak to the heart of a child, even if only for one minute, don't waste it. Speak words of life and truth over them. Our words are powerful, and they can make a difference in the lives of kids. I learned that lesson the hard way after that experience with the mother in the hallway. And I wish I could say I've never commented on a child's appearance again, but I do catch myself. We all (myself included!) need a keen awareness of the importance of our words to kids. This quote is from one of my favorite books, Just a Minute by Wess Stafford: "If God stands a child before you, even for just a minute, it is a divine appointment. You have the chance to launch a life. You never know when you are making a memory. With each child you encounter, you have the power and opportunity to build up . . . or, sadly, to tear down. A life can literally be launched with as little as a single word . . ." *Disclaimer: Keep in mind, there may be instances in which you need to ask a child's age or medical needs, or ask if they are sick (if they are showing symptoms of illness), or assess if signs of abuse are present. This post isn't about those situations, which must be handled with tact and wisdom. Talking to your kids about racial issues doesn’t have to be daunting, even if you’re nervous or you’re still learning yourself. Opening up the Bible and having authentic conversations with your kids can make a difference for opening their hearts to God’s truth. You can start having age appropriate conversations with your kids at any age.
If your kids have questions, answer them the best way you can, but also know it’s ok to say “I don’t know,” or “Let’s figure it out,” if you don’t know how to answer a question. Also remember that talking is the first step to helping your kids understand racial justice and be a part of change; encourage your kids to live it out and to fight for racial equality, to stand up against injustice, and to love others the way God loves them. The truth is that diversity is glorious. Heaven will be filled with people worshiping together – and the people will all look different, and it will be beautiful. The world we live in is fallen and filled with sin. As much as it hurts us, it hurts God more. In this dark and hurting world, we can raise kids who are a light for Christ and an example of His love. The good news in a world full of sadness is the Gospel wins, and the Gospel transforms us. The most important thing you can teach your kids is that God loves them and wants a relationship with them, and you can’t say that too often. If your kids don’t have a relationship with Jesus, that is the starting point. Loving others with the love of Jesus and seeing them through God’s eyes starts with a relationship with Him. When we know God, we will see others through His eyes. The Gospel must inform and transform our understanding of equality and race. Where there are people who are hurting, the Gospel must bring healing and hope. Where there is division, the Gospel must bring unity and peace. Where there is injustice, the Gospel must bring justice and reconciliation. Where there are people who have been oppressed and judged, the Gospel must bring hope, grace, and freedom. The Gospel is powerful, and our families and our world need the Gospel more than anything. To help families have conversations, here is a devotional I created that is based on six biblical truths that inform our views on race, equality and justice. These six devotions will allow you the opportunity to talk to your kids about racial issues from a biblical perspective. Each devotional includes Scripture, discussion questions, and an easy object lesson you can do from home with your kids using supplies you probably already have at home. Asking questions and listening can be helpful ways for us all to learn, so model that for your kids during the devotional time. Object lessons promote hands-on learning, which can help the truths stick for kids. You can end each devotional time with prayer and worship if you want. You can do one devotion a week for six weeks, or one a day for six days, or any way you want. Don’t let the conversations stop after these devotions are done. Keep talking with your kids, praying with them, and fighting for them and for truth and justice. There are additional resources linked at the end of the resource to have further conversations about the topic. There's a joke about children's ministry leaders that when church members see them walking toward them in church, they run and hide so they don't get asked to volunteer. It's funny, because many times, it's true. And many children's ministry leaders dread that "ask" even more than the people running to hide. Many children's ministry leaders are trying to do all the ministry themselves, desperate for volunteers, and then end up apologetically begging people to step in and "just do this." But here's the problem: people don't want to just do a small task. They want to be a part of a team; they want to do something important and life-changing. How do we go from struggling to have enough volunteers to having a waiting list of people because so many want to serve?
Yes, you could do a ministry fair, a recruiting campaign, a bulletin announcement, a pulpit announcement, or you could even require parents to serve, but you might not end up with passionate, energized, committed volunteers doing those things. Or you could . . . 1. Invite them to a big vision. Instead of asking someone to come to the nursery to change diapers, invite them to come change lives. Cast the vision for the importance and eternal value of children's ministry, and invite people to be a part of that vision. Don't give them small jobs or make it seem as simple and insignificant as possible. Raise the bar for serving and give them leadership and ownership in the ministry. People want to be a part of something significant and life-changing. Ask people one-on-one, rather than just blanket announcements. 2. Create an irresistible volunteer environment. When you have a culture of celebration, fun, excitement, and life-transformation, people will want to be a part of it. Share wins. Keep a high standard of excellence in your ministry, in the way you care for and celebrate your volunteers, the way you communicate, the community you create, and excellence in the details of the children's ministry programming. If your environment is irresistible, people will be excited to be a part of it! 3. Develop teams and care structures. Care for the volunteers you currently have. People don't want to serve as lone rangers, they want community and a team to belong to. Develop a team for every volunteer area, and a designated team leader to care for and invest in those leaders. When your current volunteers feel valued and well-cared for, they'll stick around, and also want to invite their friends to be a part of the team as well. 4. Know who you're looking for. Write job descriptions for every role you want to fill. You can't fill roles if you don't what you're looking for. Look for people with the gifts, experiences, and passions to fit those roles. Don't put people where you need them; put them where they will thrive and be passionate to serve. Look for leaders and people with the spiritual gifts you need, then give them an opportunity to use their gifts. Develop and invest in people to help them grow in their leadership and spiritual gifts. 5. Equip your current volunteers. Give your current volunteers ownership and responsibility for recruiting and for real leadership in the ministry. Don't just delegate tasks, give people opportunities for leadership and ministry. When the current volunteers are bought in to the vision and the ministry, they'll invite others to be a part of it too. 6. Host a regular new volunteer orientation. Hosting a regular (monthly would be awesome) event to share your vision with potential volunteers will give people who are interested a concrete event to attend. Use it as a time to introduce them to your ministry, your vision, and the opportunities for them to use their gifts on your team. Follow-up with everyone who shows interest in serving within 48 hours. 7. Be present and think outside the box. Show up to church events that don't involve your ministry. Make sure you're in the main worship service regularly. Show your face around the church and get to know people in as many ways as you can. Being present allows you the opportunity to see people's spiritual gifts and passions, and share your vision and wins from children's ministry. Also, think outside the box when you're looking at potential volunteers. Many children's ministry leaders go to the obvious choice for the volunteer pool: parents of kids in the ministry. But you could also look at teens, college students, young single adults, young married couples without kids, parents of teens, empty-nesters, grandparents, widows. Create intentional diversity in your volunteer teams. Invite people from all walks of life to serve, and you might be surprised by some who become your best volunteers! My volunteer bundle includes everything you need to recruit and assimilate children's ministry volunteers. It includes volunteer job descriptions, interest flyers, volunteer orientation overview, volunteer handbook, volunteer applications, volunteer interview questions, and more! And it's all editable. I remember being a new children's pastor and running around like a chicken with my head cut off on Sunday mornings, trying to do it all myself. I dreaded Sunday mornings, knowing we would always be short-handed, and dreaded even more having to ask people to serve. I would apologize and ask them to just stand there and not do very much. But after God changed my views and gave me a fresh vision for recruiting volunteers, I saw the volunteer teams I was leading grow and flourish. A team I led that started with 30 volunteers grew to over 150 volunteers, with some areas overstaffed, because so many people wanted to serve. God gave me a passion for developing teams, investing in leaders and helping them grow, and giving away the work of the ministry to others. You could go from struggling to having a waiting list of people lining up to serve in your children's ministry! When's the last time something stressful happened on a Sunday morning in your children's ministry? You don't have to be in children's ministry very long to discover things can go wrong quickly on a Sunday morning. No matter how well prepared you are, things beyond your control can happen. Some Sundays, everything seems to go wrong at once! The check-in system fails, the worship music is wrong, the props are missing, volunteers call off at the last minute, a parent is upset. I've had my share of Sunday mornings where I wanted to either run and hide, cry, or yell in frustration. Stressful and unexpected things will always happen, but the best children's ministry leaders are those who can remain calm, unflappable, and confident even in the midst of stressful situations. When a child vomits on the stage, a volunteer doesn't show up, or an emergency occurs, an outdoor event gets rained out, the technology completely fails you - how you respond during those times will make you stronger and strengthen your influence or break you down as a leader.
l'll be the first to admit I've had many times where I did not handle my stress well, where I got flustered, frazzled, or frustrated, and everyone knew it. A good leader can learn and grow from their weaknesses. Being a leader who is unflappable, calm, and positive during stressful Sunday mornings is something that comes naturally to some, but to others (like me!), it's a skill to intentionally practice until it becomes second nature. Here are some things I've learned about how to deal with stressful Sunday mornings. 1. Pray first. Before you ever get to church, pray over the service, the kids, the parents, the volunteers, even the technology! Cover the ministry with God's power and anointing. Stay connected to God throughout the day. If anything goes wrong, you'll handle it with more grace, strength, and confidence when you're connected with God. 2. Rest and eat. For some people, this may not be a trigger, but for myself, I am much more prone to handling stress poorly on days when I'm tired or hungry. If I show up to church on Sunday morning running on 3 hours of sleep and no breakfast, I'm going to be easily irritable and stressed out. I'm more likely to break down emotionally or lash out at others. Be aware of your own triggers, and take care of yourself before you arrive at church. 3. Be prepared. You can't prepare for every single scenario that could possibly happen on a Sunday morning, but the more prepared you are, the better your Sundays will go. Get as much done as possible ahead of time, and schedule extra time for troubleshooting. Have a backup plan for things that could commonly fail. Prepare a backup check-in system, a back-up children's ministry lesson that doesn't involve technology or props, a backup system for volunteers who don't show up, a backup idea for any activity that's dependent on weather. 4. Make decisions with confidence. When you make a last-minute change or decision about something, speak with confidence and positivity. Even if you're nervous, when you speak with confidence and give people a plan, people will trust and follow you. 5. Don't complain or vent. Even if nothing is going right, resist the urge to let everyone know about it. Don't tell all the parents the volunteers are late. Don't tell all the volunteers the technology is demon-possessed. Don't broadcast to the entire staff about an upset parent. When something stressful happens or goes wrong, make it your goal (as much as possible) to make sure nobody can tell. This doesn't mean you have to be fake, you can let others know you're struggling, but it's not ok to vent or complain to parents, kids, or volunteers on Sunday mornings. 6. Take a break. If you can, take a moment to step away and collect yourself. Get alone. Take a deep breath. If you can't get alone; pause. If something catches you off guard or someone approaches you angrily, take a moment to pause before you respond or speak. 7. Smile. Studies show that even when you don't feel happy or confident, there's something about smiling anyway that makes your emotions follow your body. You can literally make yourself happier just by forcing a smile. It might feel like you're being "fake" by smiling when you don't feel like it, but you're actually tricking your body into actually feeling it. Try it next time you're stressed. 8. Focus on the big picture. Remind yourself of the positives and the reason you're serving. Did another volunteer really step up in a time of need? Was a child engaged through an impromptu game you added when the music stopped? Was everyone safe, even though things didn't work out as planned? Remind yourself to actively focus on the big picture and the positives, and show gratitude. 9. Take charge of your emotions. Instead of letting your emotions get out of control, remember you control your emotions. Reject lies and negative thinking, and ask God to help you take every thought captive in obedience to Christ. Don't allow circumstances beyond your control to steal your peace. 10. Give grace. Even when people mess up or systems fail, you can be an example of God’s grace and love. You can show people an example of how God gives us grace even when we make mistakes or fall short. We can all probably think of people we know who are poised, grace-filled, calm, and confident even during difficult circumstances. And we can probably think of other people who are frazzled, flustered, frustrated, or stressed at times, and when they are, everyone knows it! The difference between those two is not that everything always works out perfectly for the former, and things only go wrong for the latter. The difference is the first type of leader has learned not to not lose their cool. They've become self-aware, and have practiced these things until they become natural. How do you keep your cool in stressful situations? Have you had anything really stressful happen on a Sunday morning in children's ministry? |
Children are a Gift Lynne Howardkidmin leader, mother, and servant of the Lord. These are the views of Lynne Howard, and are not necessarily the views and opinions of David C Cook or any church. Archives
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